The Working Man's Insidious Laugh Verses the Child's Pure Laugh

Working men. They always seem in good spirits. Always laughing. I laughed with them too. I played along. But then I actually listened to the laughter. It was insidious laughter - like a gentle caress that turned into molestation. And then I was ashamed of my own laughter.

In order to fit in with colleagues in the work place, it seems that everybody needs to be a clown. They smirk and snigger at some sexual innuendo, some football related comment, or even, as a minimum, at vulgar language in itself and for itself. They show affection with an insult. They mock one and other with trivialities like a haircut. 

I remember being a child. Laughter was sweeter. When did laughter become so acidulous? It must’ve happened when we grew older and more resentful. Children are not resentful; they are innocent, and therefore their laughter is pure. Also, have you noticed, that children never tell jokes? They just laugh at life as it is - at the grotesque and exotic jokes of nature - because life is the only joke there is. That was the truth I saw when my little boy was frolicking in the woods. A sight of a mushroom or the sound of a creaking tree made him laugh - laugh so genuinely that it made my heart ache. He is the true comedian we should all be laughing with. This is the difference you see: a clown tells a joke, but the child shows something to laugh at. 

But I am no longer a child. I have lost that innocence. And when I see my colleagues constantly joking around, I gradually get the sense that I’m being poisoned by malice disguised as amicability. You see, I’ve come to believe that a joke is often hatred with face paint on. Nevertheless, I still laugh with them. Despite this feeling, I laugh all the same. But as a safety net, when I see a clown, I make sure I laugh the heartiest laugh I can, just to convince myself that I belong in the audience and not in the circus. 

 Gwilym Rees. Copyright ©.

Extracts edited from the novel 'The Smoke Inside My Head'.

Read the novella synopsis here.