In Search of Quietness

Judith Walters, one of the lost souls from the Novella 'I Went For A Walk And Never Came Back'.

I thought about how I wished life to be quieter – subtle yet stimulating; a quietness where I could loose myself in contemplation. Quietness ought to have some special attention, I thought. Loudness was obtrusive. Loudness was vulgar. When I listened – really listened – I noticed that clothes and footsteps made an awful lot of noise. And I also noticed that people talked too much. I imagined what it might’ve been like to live in a silent movie, where people expressed themselves verbally in abundance with no sound, and only a few selective, necessary words were presented to me on title cards. And then I looked closer at the leaves in the trees. It made me think about how nature was so curvy, and by comparison how my car was so blocky. I thought that everything natural in the universe had curves and everything observed by humans had edges. The infinite spheres, arcs or coils we saw in planets, clouds and ocean waves must have overwhelmed our minds, so we created a square to contain them. Our houses, windows, living spaces, mirrors, pictures on the wall, and mobile devices seemed to frame our lives. But I listened to the leaves! I listened with closed eyes. I couldn’t hear a frame in the wind! There were no boundaries when I closed my eyes. In quietness, in sombre reflective quietness, I dared myself to be overwhelmed by the infinite! Quietness was infinite. Quietness was timeless. Quietness was the unspoken word; the wind in the trees; a man peeling an apple; the pause in between dialogue; the curtain before the theatre began; the empty landscape waiting for a person to arrive; voices diluted in echo down a long painting gallery; a ship’s horn and a woman singing from afar; the quartertones in a chamber ensemble; the sub-harmonics and overtones in a church bell. I wanted to be quiet, but it wasn’t a gentle quietness; it had intensity. If I were a musical dynamic, and were asked to describe myself as either forte or piano, then I’d say: fortissimo from so far away, you can barely hear me!

 Gwilym Rees. Copyright ©.

Extracts edited from the novella 'I Went For A Walk And Never Came Back'

Read the novella synopsis here.